Pee play, water sports, golden showers, piss play, urophilia — whatever you want to call it, it’s simultaneously one of the better-known yet more taboo sexual kinks. While talking about a casual sexual proclivity for some light bondage or semi-public sex may no longer raise most eyebrows, pee play remains a kink that’s most often used as a punch line. But it shouldn’t be!
Let's talk about pee play to shed some light on the subject and break down some common misconceptions and taboos. What it’s all about, why it might appeal to you, and how to go about it if it gets you going.
What Does Pee Play Entail?
This is an easy one: pee play means that you’re into the idea of urine being involved in sex. This could be related to smell, taste, or feel.
What it specifically entails is up to you and your partner — whether it’s about feeling the sensation of urine, seeing someone urinate, being denied the ability to pee, or any other variations on the theme.
Some people are turned on by watching someone pee, while others may get off on the simplicity of seeing somebody pee or even just hearing them. The vulnerability of being allowed to witness somebody in what otherwise is a private moment can be arousing.
The point is, if your fantasy involves pee — no matter how directly or intensely — pee play might be an area you want to explore.
It can also be less about the physical reality of pee and more about the power dynamics involved, but we’ll talk about that more in the next section.
What’s the Appeal of Pee Play?
If you’re wondering why the idea turns you on or are trying to decide if it’s something you’re up for after a partner broaches it with you, you’re probably wondering why pee play appeals to you.
While it is a fairly rare fantasy in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a singular kink, and if you’re feeling alone in your interest in pee play, you should know that you aren’t! It may seem unusual if you’re new to the idea or just exploring this fantasy yourself, but it’s a pretty straightforward kink when you break it down.
Often, it’s just about indulging in something that’s seen as a taboo that turns you on. Bodily fluids (not including the ones you expect to be involved in sex) are something humans tend to avoid in general, so including them in something intimate like sex can feel like a real breakaway from accepted norms — which can be sexy!
Sometimes it’s about the unusual sensation of warmth and wetness. Sometimes, even the idea of peeing in an unusual place or a traditionally “inappropriate” setting can get you going. That’s part of enjoying taboos, too; the simple pleasure that can come from breaking something that has, for most of your life, felt like a hard-and-fast rule.
It can also be a type of power play. Your fantasy may be about submitting to someone else, and allowing them to pee on you might be a part of that. Similarly, it might turn you on to think of somebody submitting to you in that way. It can also be a type of worship — accepting pee from a dominant partner to express your willingness to submit to them.
Whatever the reason is, it’s important to resist any pressure to feel shame about what you’re into — and if it’s a partner approaching you about pee play, it’s equally as important to make sure you’re listening and evaluating according to your own needs, but not making your partner feel embarrassed for opening up to you.
Many studies show that variety and sexual communication is key to sexual satisfaction and keeping the spark alive in your relationship — so an interest in trying something new is always a good sign!
Is It Safe?
There’s a pervasive myth that urine is sterile, so let’s make that clear from the get-go. Urine is not sterile, no matter what Bear Grylls says. It can also potentially carry disease, so as with any kind of sex, if you’re going to engage in pee play it’s super important to be sure that both you and your partner have been tested and have considered all of the risks.
That said, this doesn’t make pee play unsafe, necessarily. It means you should be mindful of clean-up, especially of sex toys you use, and of after-care. If you’re unsure about the health risks, it’s always advisable to speak to a doctor first.
What Else Do You Need To Consider?
First and foremost, you’ll need to have a comprehensive conversation with your partner. Make sure you and your partner are enthusiastically into the scene before you start. And be sure to discuss safe words.
It’s also important (not to mention fun!) for you and your partner to dig a little deeper into this kink to pinpoint what about it turns you on, so you can tailor your experience to whatever you find most stimulating. It also allows you to prepare.
As with, for instance, having anal sex for the first time, setting expectations and ensuring you have everything you need to have the best possible experience before you get down and dirty can improve your experience.
As part of setting expectations, it’s also worth easing into a more intense scenario if that’s what you’re after. More power to you if you and your partner are excited about a scene where one of you pees into the other’s mouth — but if you’ve never engaged in that kind of play before, it’s probably best to start slow.
You could watch your partner pee in the shower or in your yard — or even just listen if one of you feels shy to start. It’s all about communication and being certain you’re both on the same page before you get going.
While many can be quick to reject kinks that seem outside of the norm, especially when dealing with bodily fluids, there’s no reason to treat pee play as different from any other sexual interest.
As long as you play safely and consensually, there’s no reason any taboo should be off the table… literally and figuratively, although in the case of pee play, it’s probably best to keep it off the literal table.
What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated with Sexual Communication, Mood Setting, Sexual Variety, Oral Sex, Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study | The Journal of Sex Research