Everyone’s journey of discovering themselves as sexual beings will be different. That’s part of what makes them so unique and beautiful. For some people, anal sex or anal play might come into the equation earlier, while others might need some time to warm up to the idea. Others might not be into it at all.
All of these viewpoints are completely legitimate and valid, but it might be time to open your mind (among other things) to the joy that anal sex can bring you. As a society, we don’t talk about anal nearly as much as other forms of sex, such as vaginal sex. The truth is that anal penetration can be enjoyed by people who identify with any sexual orientation or gender expression.
That said, it might feel like there’s a steeper learning curve to anal than to other kinds of sex. However, giving it a chance can open the door to new feelings and ways to experience pleasure. Before diving headfirst — or fingers, toys, and more — into the wonderful world of anal, it’s best to be prepared with some knowledge.
Understandably, those who haven’t tried anal usually have questions at the forefront of their mind. They wonder how it feels and how to prepare for this new adventure.
This article will cover all of that and more, so keep reading.
You Can Do Anal With or Without a Partner
Maybe you have recently become more interested in the possibility of doing anal because it’s something your partner has expressed interest in. It’s also entirely possible that this is a kink you want to try for yourself. Either way, you can get so much pleasure from anal, whether doing it on your own or with others.
How you do anal while masturbating is quite similar to how you would do it with a sexual partner. No matter what, you should pay attention to your body, be open about what you want and need, and go at your own pace. If you want to experiment with anal on your own, you can use fingers or silicone sex toys.
That doesn’t have to change, even if you’re engaging in anal with a partner. Fingers and anal sex toys are still excellent tools to unlock your pleasure, even if the goal is to work up to other forms of penetrative anal sex eventually.
If you want to warm up slowly, you can also try using a buttplug during other forms of sex. This allows you to experience powerful anal orgasms while also getting a little more comfortable with the idea of anal sex.
Like all forms of sex, always communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling. Communication is the key to a great sex life, and we must remember that no one is a mind reader. Your partner wants you to feel good just as much as you want to feel good, so give both of you a leg up by expressing what you want.
If you don’t know exactly what you want or what you like, that’s fine too! You can learn by trying new things on your own or with a partner. If you’re solo or with any number of partners, learn to check in with yourself openly and often.
What Can I Expect From Anal Sex?
Those who haven’t tried anal before might feel trepidatious and worry about what it will feel like. We’re here to shed some light on what you can expect.
A Little Discomfort Is Okay at First, but No More
Let’s be real. You’re putting something in a place that’s used to just having things go out.
It might be a bit uncomfortable when you’re first adjusting to the feeling, or there could even be a stretching sensation as your sphincter adjusts. That is okay and isn’t anything to worry about. If it feels genuinely painful, it’s time to take a step back because something isn’t right.
If you’re worried about the potential stretching sensation, know that many people actually report enjoying it. It’s normal to feel a little overwhelmed at first, especially the first time.
If the sensation is too much, try returning to a smaller dildo or vibrator, using your fingers to relax the rectum, using more lube, or taking some time to help your body turn on a little more.
It Should Feel Good
Anal should feel good above all else. There are so many sensitive spots that can be stimulated through anal, but the truth is that it isn’t for everyone.
You can find out if prostate stimulation is something you enjoy through open-minded play and patience. Who knows? You might just discover a new favorite.
How Do I Prepare for Anal?
Before the anal actually begins in earnest, here are some steps to ensure the best possible experience.
There’s No Such Thing As Too Much Foreplay
Like all forms of sex, anal can be pleasurable for everyone involved if you’re as turned on as possible. So take your time, and do things you know you enjoy first.
That could be vaginal play or stimulating other erogenous zones. If you are with a partner, that could be kissing, massages, or any other activities that get you comfortable and in the mood.
Anal Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness
Many people express concerns over cleanliness when they think about anal. The act can be sanitary if you clean it thoroughly beforehand. This could help get rid of possible self-consciousness, as well as keep everything more comfortable.
No matter what anal play you engage in, you should thoroughly clean the outside area with soap and warm water first. Most people prefer to do this in the shower. You can also use an enema to clean internally, but that’s a matter of personal preference.
If you are ever switching from anal play to vaginal play, thoroughly clean all items first. That could be fingers, toys, tongues, penises, and more. When gloves or a condom are in use, swap them out for new ones.
How Can I Have Better Anal?
Now that you know how to prep and what you can expect from your foray into anal sex, here’s how to enjoy it.
Work Your Way Up
If you’ve never done anal before, you don’t want the first thing you penetrate yourself with to be overly large. It’s likely best to try just a finger first to see if you even enjoy the sensation.
You can slowly try larger and longer items and discover your preference. Take your time; this isn’t a race. Also, take deep breaths. This will help you relax into the sensation.
Lube, Lube, and More Lube
Anal probably shouldn’t happen without lube. Spit isn’t sufficient; you will want to introduce a high-quality lubricant to make the process as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.
You probably need to use a little more when you think you’ve used enough lube. Whether you are being penetrated with something big or small, lube it up like it’s nobody’s business.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
If you haven’t gotten it yet, know that anal is best when you take your sweet time. There’s no rush, so really revel in the experience, feel each sensation to the fullest, and slow down whenever you want.
Going slow now will help it to be better when and if you work up to larger items and will help you to get acquainted with each feeling as it happens.
Can People of All Genders Enjoy Anal?
If you have a prostate or a clitoris, there’s much that can be stimulated from anal sex. Even the rim of the anus has many nerve endings, making it a pleasure center in and of itself.
This makes rimming such a fun activity for those who enjoy it (more on that soon). The prostate can be stimulated internally or externally.
Meanwhile, the so-called A-Spot can be indirectly stimulated through anal sex for people with a vulva. Due to where this pleasurable gathering of nerve endings is within the vagina, it’s often easier to access via anal.
So, yes, anyone of any gender can enjoy anal. It’s truly up to the individual, so feel free to try it out and see what works for you.
What About Rimming?
Rimming is experiencing a renaissance, possibly even more than penetrative anal itself. Whether you call it “rimming,” “eating ass,” or something else altogether, there are a few pointers you should keep in mind before getting started.
The vast majority of rimming occurs externally, and since the area is so sensitive, it can be an incredibly enjoyable experience. Keeping it sanitary is crucial, especially when there are tongues involved.
For an added layer of cleanliness, you can also use a dental dam as a protective barrier. Rimming can be an excellent technique in helping the muscles relax, making penetration easier.
It can serve as a precursor to the main event, or it can be the main event. It all depends on your and your partners’ preferences.
Empower Pleasure is all about just that — empowering your pleasure. For many, anal sex is a way to feel and express fulfillment they might not have tried before.
Be patient, check in with your body, and use lots of lube; you might have something to add to your sexual repertoire.
Women’s techniques for pleasure from anal touch: Results from a U.S. probability sample of women ages 18–93 | PMC
Testing for and the Role of Anal and Rectal Sensation | ScienceDirect
The Influence of Physical Body Traits and Masculinity on Anal Sex Roles in Gay and Bisexual Men | PMC