It doesn’t matter if you’re out and proud, you’re still exploring your sexuality, or if you’re not sure what labels feel best for you — there’s a sex toy out there for you!
That said, there’s no denying that much of mainstream sexual education and language is biased toward cisgender, heterosexual relationships, down to how we’re taught about sex and sexuality in school. While LGBTQ+ sex education may be getting better over time, when it comes to the sexual fulfillment part of sexual health, there are many options out there that are queer-friendly and inclusive.
Let’s talk about some of the best options for queer sex toys to help spice things up in the bedroom, whether you’re looking to use your sex toy for a solo session or with a partner.
1. G-Spot Vibrators
While the mechanics of the G-spot may be something of a question mark in the scientific community, there’s no questioning all of the anecdotal evidence that the G-spot exists.
And the beautiful thing about the G-spot is that, while its exact location may vary, it’s gender-neutral (ever heard of the P-spot?). Whether you’re AMAB or AFAB, cis or trans, a G-spot vibrator can be a great choice to get you (and your partner!) where you want to go.
We like Le Wand’s sleek Stainless Steel Hoop, designed to have the perfect curvature and reach to hit every spot you never knew you needed. Its sexy, svelte design, paired with its satisfying weight and stimulating pressure, makes it the perfect inclusive sex toy for anybody of any gender to get off in style.
2. Bondage and Blindfolds
These options may not immediately strike you as a sex toy, but they definitely count! If you’re trying to avoid overly gendered or heteronormative toys in language or appearance, and you’re interested in bondage, sex toys like the Edge Leather Blindfold or the Shots Ouch Beginner Handcuffs are great inclusive options to spice things up in the bedroom.
While they’re not vibrators or dildos — the usual suspects when it comes to sex toys — they offer an amazing new way to explore your sexual fantasies with your partner. When trying something new in the bedroom, it's always important to communicate properly with your partner, especially when it comes to things that can be particularly intense, like bondage or blindfolding.
Be sure that you and your partner are on the same page before you play, but once you are, sparks will fly.
3. Strap-Ons and Harnesses
Strap-ons and harnesses offer a wide range of versatility. You can get strap-ons and harnesses that include a pocket for a bullet vibrator if you have a clitoris and want the additional stimulation.
You can get strap-ons that are shaped to look like a penis if that’s something that will make you feel more at home in your body during sex. At the same time, if dysphoria is part of your experience, but you’re looking for a way to experiment with penetration, you can find strap-ons designed for your pleasure rather than for a natural aesthetic.
We recommend the Gender X Snuggle Up Dual Motor Strap On Vibe. It also comes with a harness, so you don’t have to worry about moving parts. Its wavy, blue shaft is crafted with delicious textures and two 10-speed motors — at the tip and the base — so you and your partner can experience the sensations during penetration.
Another option available to you if you’d prefer to avoid sex toys that feel coded as male is the Gender Fluid Thigh Rider Strap-On Harness. It’ll allow you or your partner to experience penetration without putting the user in a position that forces them to present as a gender they don’t identify with or feel uncomfortable with.
As a bonus, if you’re using a thigh harness, it means that your partner can use their hands (or you can use your own hands) to stimulate you in whatever way feels best to you. It’s a much more versatile option than a traditional strap-on and offers a more gender-neutral option for a traditional strap-on and harness setup.
4. Underwear Vibes
Look, we tend to think vibrators are for everyone — they come in so many different shapes and sizes, packed with so many different speeds and patterns, and they’re sort of built to be inclusive. We particularly love a hidden option like the Gender X Our Undie Vibe for a few reasons.
For one, it’s fun to use with a partner. There’s a magnetic strip to hold the vibrating panel in place in your underwear and a remote control for your partner to play with — while we can’t recommend using it in public, we can recommend getting creative with it.
But for another, the curved shape of the vibe is designed to be comfortable for every body type and can affix to any type of material, no matter what kind of underwear you’re wearing. If you want an inclusive option that will work for you and your partner, you can’t go wrong with this rechargeable magnetic undie vibe.
While there may not be a fundamental difference in how most sex toys work in queer relationships, finding products that seem to be designed with you in mind rather than designed without giving you a second thought is always preferable.
Luckily, there are many sex toys out there to help people of every gender in every kind of relationship find fulfillment and satisfaction.
School-based Sexuality Education Experiences Across Three Generations of Sexual Minority People | National Library of Medicine
Sex Education in School, are Gender and Sexual Minority Youth Included?: A Decade in Review | National Library of Medicine
G-Spot: Fact or Fiction?: A Systematic Review | National Library of Medicine