There are many reasons why we experience sexual fantasies. Sometimes it’s just to turn yourself on. Sometimes it’s about exploring something you’ve never experienced before or to fulfill a need that has gone unsatisfied.
Sometimes it’s because there’s something you're curious about or something is missing in your relationship, and you’re looking for an outlet. Often, it’s simply because it’s fun!
Sexual fantasies are normal and healthy, but bringing them up to a partner is not always easy. It’s also possible that you’d like to try something new with your partner, but you’re not sure exactly what new thing you want to try.
Whether you’re trying to decide how to express what you need to your partner or are just looking for inspiration, we’ve got your back. Let’s talk about some couples’ fantasies to help spark conversation and improve your sex life.
If You Want To Play With Power Dynamics
Playing with power dynamics is one of the most common sexual fantasies. There are so many variations on this particular theme you’d be hard-pressed to try them all, but you can certainly try.
One way to explore this type of fantasy is to roleplay. Have you fantasized about (legally, consensually) putting some after-school work in with a sexy professor? Have you imagined what it might be like if your personal trainer were a little more personal? Have you ever thought about what it would be like if your partner worked for you after hours?
Try to discuss one of these scenarios with your partner, and then live out the fantasy through some fun and sexy roleplay.
You can also play with power dynamics by engaging in some BDSM play. It’s extremely important when engaging in any kind of sex play to communicate clearly with your partner. Even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal, it’s important to go in with expectations and have a safe word in place in case anything gets uncomfortable.
In addition to blindfolding, a great way to experiment with any fantasies you have around surrendering power to your partner is with these NS Novelties Sinful Bed Restraint Straps.
If You’re Into Games
Games are a great way to explore your sexual fantasies in a low-pressure manner. Whether you and your partner like normal board games or you just want to try some new things but aren’t sure how to get the dice rolling, as it were, playing a sexual game like these Behind Closed Doors 4 Kinky Sex Dice is a great way to give your sexual fantasies life.
It’s also a great way to discover sexual fantasies if you want to improve your sex life but aren’t sure where to start. A lucky roll of the dice might help you find a kink you never knew you had!
Sex games like these can also help to make you and your partner more comfortable discussing the things you like if you need a bit of a warm-up.
If You Want To Test Some Taboos
This is another really common sexual fantasy — pushing boundaries and going against established taboos. Many people fantasize about having sex in public or semi-public places. Some people fantasize about watching other people have sex or about being watched.
And there are many other taboos you might explore, too! The only limit here is your imagination (and your state’s nudity and public decency laws).
While we can’t necessarily recommend having sex in a public place — it’s important to have the consent of everybody, even passively, involved in sex, and that’s not possible if you’re taking your exhibitionist streak too seriously.
But you can get a taste of this fantasy by having sex in a private outdoor space or in semi-public but safe settings like inside your tent at a campground, on a private boat, or while looking out a window.
It can also be fun to make sure your partner knows you’re wearing something like this Rene Rofe Walk Away Strappy Teddy when you go out by letting them watch you get dressed or by sending them a picture while you’re out to build up the tension to fulfill that little exhibitionist kink in a simple but sexy way.
You can also make a sex tape with your partner or send one another steamy texts while you’re out in public to lead up to a fantastic session when you get home. If there isn’t an ethical way to watch or be watched, and that’s your sexual fantasy, you can role-play with your partner or watch one another masturbate to get your fix.
If You Want To Explore Outside Your Relationship
If you're in a monogamous relationship and are approaching the idea of exploring sex outside of your relationship, it can get tricky. It’s important to be willing and prepared to have a comprehensive conversation before you even think about approaching an open relationship or exploring one another with an additional person (or people) involved.
But once you and your partner are on the same page, you can open up your sex life as much or as little as you’re comfortable with. You could explore a threesome and bring another person into your bedroom to give you both a taste of something new. If one of you likes to watch or likes the idea of watching the other with somebody new, that’s something to explore as well.
Sex clubs are also a great option if you want to dip your toe into sexual nonmonogamy but aren’t sure you’re ready for the pressure of having a new person in your bedroom. Sex clubs will have clear rules and codes of conduct for establishing interest and consent, so you and your partner can keep communication open throughout your visit to decide what you are comfortable with.
If both of those options feel a little too intense, but you’re interested in involving another person in your sex life, visiting a strip club with your partner can be a great entree to other things. You can feel what it’s like to see your partner enjoying and admiring another person from afar and enjoy flirting with one another through the experience.
After that, you can move to a more hands-on experience like the ones we mentioned above or keep that distance if it fulfills your fantasy and feels safe and satisfying.
As with anything related to sex and intimacy, it’s essential to communicate with your partner. While almost everyone has sexual fantasies at one time or another, it’s easy to offend or hurt a partner if you’re not mindful of how they’re communicated.
It’s often best to be sure there’s a foundation of trust, respect, and communication between you before you move forward.
Once you’ve achieved that, exploring your and your partner’s sexual fantasies is one of the best things about a relationship! They can help to liven up your sex life, keep the spark alive, and relieve you of any pressures to perform in a certain way by helping you explore your true self, wants, and needs.
Why Do People Have Sexual Fantasies? | Psychology Today
Nudity and Public Decency Laws in America | Hg.org
Sexual Fantasies and Stereotypical Gender Roles: The Influence of Sexual Orientation, Gender and Social Pressure in a Sample of Italian Young-Adults | National Library of Medicine